


The Stardust That Stain My Hands

by LeafySeaDragon



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: A lot of fluffy fluff, Angst, Build up, Depression, F/M, Fluff, Multi, Other, Ratchet/Reader - Freeform, Reader-Insert, Recovery, Romance, Self Harm, Slow Burn, Transformers - Freeform, Warning:Contains sensitive topics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2019-05-29 03:35:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15064241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeafySeaDragon/pseuds/LeafySeaDragon
Summary: After your first month of recovery, your best friend Jack starts to disappear more and more often, even when times you really need someone to talk to.Has he stopped caring?Does he think your pathetic?Your head was filled with thousands of possibilities and reasons why he was so busy, but alien robots wasn’t on the list.Great, this is just what you need...WARNING ⚠️:THIS STORY CONTIANS SENSITIVE TOPICS SUCH AS: Depression and Self harm





	1. It’s Okay, Then It’s Not

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, I wanted to make this because there aren’t too many Ratchet fanfics out there and the ol’ bot needs some loving  
> And I had this character I had in the back of my head and knew this would be perfect for Ratchet, so yeah, here we are now
> 
> Also, (D/N) is “Dad’s name” and (M/N) is “Mom’s name”

I woke up to the pain in my legs, like every morning. I yawned and rubbed my eyes, ridding myself from the eyes boogers that had build overnight. I sat and reached over to my nightstand where my pain killers sat, along with anti-depressants, and other pills my doctor had prepsricbed me. As I waited for them to kick in, I moved the blankets and covers off of my legs, seeing the scars, bruises, and still healing cuts all over, but on my thighs rested tattoos of stars and planets, a little gift my parents got me for passing my first month of recovery without a hiccup.They were still fairly new, I only got them 3 weeks ago, but they nethertheless, they made me smile, and gain hope for each new day. I finally decided to move once my legs started to feel a bit numb and walked to dresser, pulling out knee socks, and clothes for school, it didn’t take long to get changed and brush my hair, sure, my shorts were a little tight, but that was okay. The real struggle was putting on my knee socks. Nobody besides Jack and few other friends of mine really knew about my depression and recovery.Jack was actually the person who convinced me to seek out my parents, seek out help, and stop hurting myself, I'm really glad I listened to him. Even though the medicine is a pain, it really helps. But that doesn’t change the fact that the voices, the urges, kept on beckoning me to come back, it was still so hard. I then chuckled to myself, ‘I’m not even aloud to wash the dishes anymore,’ I though to myself, remembering the time I almost cut myself washing the cutting knife, my mother started crying and apologizing. It was...

New to me..to say the least.

I wasn’t and still not used to my parents being extra gentle and caring with me, I mean, they’re great, but it feels strange.

I sighed and finally put on my socks, grabbed my slacks, and backpack then headed downstairs. Seeing my father sipping his coffee, already ready to head to work. A hand ruffled my hair and planted a kiss on my cheek.

Mom.

“Alright, Sweetie,” She stepped in front of me and held my shoulders. ”Dad’s gonna drop you off today, is that okay?”

“Yes, that’s alright”

“Good,” She then turned to my dad,”(D/N), I may get home a little late, so if I do remember to cook something up!” Dad Places His mug in the sink and nodded, “No problem, (M/N)!” Mom Smiles And gave me a hug, which I returned instantinly. ”Be Good, I love you,” She kisses my forehead.

“I love you too,” There was emotion in my voice, in that sentence, and it seemed to make my mother tear up. She went over to father and they exchanged their goodbyes and kisses. Once my mother was out the door, my father turned to look at me, there was an awkward silence,”Are you hungry?”

“No, i’m fine”

And that was that. My father didn’t try to convince to eat something, last time he did that, he yelled at me, causeing my to lock myself in my room for the rest of the day. So, he never pressed again.

We left the house in slience and the car ride to school wasn’t any better, but he tried his best. ”So, is that Jack friend of yours gonna come over?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but I stopped. I knew my answer, but I didn’t know Jack’s, he’s been so busy lately, and doesn’t even bother to call or excuse himself, or say that...

Say that he’s sorry for not being there when I needed him most.

“No, probably not”

“Weird, last month you two were like two peas in a pod,” He smiled softly and rubbed my shoulder, “Don’t worry, you got your ol’ pop to keep you company,” I smiled. I smiled that warm smile that I hadn’t smiled in months, it brought joy to my dad’s face, and he started to tear up. Before we both could got emontial with each other, we arrived at the school and said our goodbyes. My chest felt warm and I actually had a genuine smile on my face. ’Huh..maybe this will be a good day, even without Jack by my side,’ I thought to myself and headed into the building, only to hear a motorcycle engine roar behind me.

“Hey, (Y/N)!”

I heard his voice and I wanted to jump into his arms, to hug the crap out of him, and ask where the hell he’s been, but I needed to show that I wasn’t weak, that I’m fine and capable of anything that any other person could do.

“Where have you been, Jack?”

“Um...nowhere really, just been busy with school and stuff..I’m really sorry that we haven’t been able to hang out, I really am,” I wanted to yell and scream and cry in face, telling him how mad I am, but I don’t.

“It’s alright,” But, it’s not.


	2. Gun And Run For Your Lives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack notices that your not in a great mood and tries to cheer you up, which works until you get a call from your dad that he won’t be able to pick you up due to something happening at work, and Jack generously offers you a ride home!Nothing could go wrong!Right?..yeah of course not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, it’s only the second chapter, and I’m getting right to the point.These events where bound to happen once Jack offered (Y/N) a ride home

Throughout the whole day, Jack could tell I wasn’t in the best mood I can be in, you know, at least the best mood someone in recovery could be in. Over and over again I told him to please calm down, but Jack is persistent, so I just let be an idiot for the entire day just because it was amusing. Besides, when he’s actung like a drunk doing an impression of a monkey, even Death himself wouldn’t pass off that opportunity. So, I enjoyed the time I had to watch Jack make a fool of himself, man, the things he does for me. I really do appreciate it though, but that still didn’t make this any less funny.

Of course, the fun had to come to an end once we had to part ways for class.

And my classmates were just putting me on edge. Why do they always have to ‘talk talk talk’? Couldn't they all just shut up and get on with class so our time at this miserable place could seem to pass by quicker?

I wanted to cry in English, but got angry and snapped at the kid sittings next to me instead, which was embarrassing after I recollected myself, but there was nothing I could do about it, it happened. Still didn’t stop me from beating myself up.

In gym, I sneaked off to the bathrooms to take another dose of my anti-depressants, doctors orders, 3 doses a day. But my coach says that I’m fine and don’t need any pills to make me feel better. He’s a fucking jackass idiot, but I can’t say that to his face, sadly.

Then science class came, I basically flew there, well not really. I dragged my feet down the hall and responded to my teachers ‘good morning’ with a ‘ugh’, but in my defense I was really agitated and just wanted to get this over with I could go home and read all of the books I had in the entire house. Only way to leave this goddamn excuse of a life behind me and enter a entire new world of living things and Places, much better than what Jasper, Nevada has to offer.I sat in my seat and lied my head down, then the sound of a ‘thump’ hitting the desk came. “Hey, sleepyhead” “Hey, Jack” “You seem tired, classmates in English bothering you again?” I only nodded and Jack rubbed my head which soothed me a lot, it’s been awhile since me and Jack were like this, I was ultimately grateful that it seemed that things were going back to the way things were.

Class went by fast, but it felt different. Probably because me and Jack started talking again, but it felt different, Jack was back, he seemed different to me though, it was probably my imagination playing tricks on me.

———Time Skip———

Lunch, finally, came, but I wasn’t too enthusiastic about it, not surprisingly I wasn’t hungry. Which would upset my parents.It was strange for me, ever since my depression had gotten extremely serious, I started not being hungry at all, to eating a entire three-course meal in one sitting. My doctor said it was due to fatigue and lack of pleasure in activities, but the whole shift between eating too much and not eating at all, wasn’t normal, but wasn’t rare.

Another reason why he prescribed me all of those pills. I just hope Jack won’t make a scene fussing about it, like he used to, but then again, I haven’t seen him at lunch, but he has been hanging out with those two other kids.I was pulled out of my thoughts at the sound of my name,”(Y/N)!” “Y-Yes?!” I looked over to see Jack and those two other kids, “So you coming or not?” I looked at him with a confused expression on my face, “Coming where?” The two kids seemed to look at each other and Jack grabbed my hand, “Come sit with us?” Oh..I thought about it for a second, but then a strange feeling in my chest told me to say yes..and I did. “Sure..I’ll tag along,” The girl behind Jack seemed to smile and cheer while the small boy softly smiled in my direction, to bad I’ll I had to return the favor was a awkward and nervous smile.

Jack led me to their table and I sat down.I soon learned that the girl was name Miko Nakadai, pretty energetic, and..interesting. The small boy’s name was Rafael Esquivel, but he asked if I called him Raf. Then it was my turn, “I’m (Y/N) (L/N)..” ‘Great...this is the best start to making new friends, yup’ As I predicted, Jake made a fuss about me not wanting to eat, it got so bad that even Miko and Raf got in on it too. ”Come on!Just a little something and we’ll stop!” Miko’s suggestion just went through my ears and not to my brain. “No” “Please, (Y/N).You need to eat if you’re gonna get better,” Jack looked at me with worried eyes.

As I was about to protest, Raf showed a apple in my mouth. I took it out after taking a bite and looked at him to see a smile on his face, which made me smile softly. Miko and Jack stared at Raf with dumbfounded faces, which he only returned them with a cheeky smile. ‘I think i’m going to get along with these kids just fine,’

——— Time Skip ———

I had learned that apparently that Jack talks about me all of the time, which was a little flattering, and we had things in common, and we exchanged numbers, but all that soon went away once I got a phone call from dad.

“Hello?”

“(Y/N), how are you?” Something was wrong, I could already tell, I felt it in my gut.

“I’m good..why?”

“I’m not gonna be able to pick you up today”

“W-What?” I stopped walking, my feet were glued to the floor, and everything seemed to disappear for some reason, something bad was gonna happen, I just knew it, something was wrong, something wasn’t right. I gulped and recollected myself, “Why?”

“Something came up at work, I’m sorry”

I took a deep breath and calmed down a bit, then I could actually hear Jack asking what was wrong, I looked at him and whispered, “Dad’s Not able to pick me up,” and before I could go back to talking with my dad, Jack pulled the phone away from me.

”I could drop her off at home, Mr.(L/N),”

The conversation went on and on, I wish I knew what dad was saying to Jack.

“No, no! It’s really no problem, I can do it,”

After that statement, Jack handed me back my phone.

“Jack is gonna drop you off, the key is under the flower pot by the door, I’m sorry again, I love you”

Silence.

 

Silence.

“I love you too”

I hung up and looked over to Jack.

”You don’t have a car,”

He chuckled and grabbed my hand, leading me out of the building and walked towards a very nice motorcycle,

“No, but I have a bike,” I raised an eyebrow at him.

”How could you even afford that?”

“Let’s just say it was gift from a friend,” He said, putting on his helmet.b”Come on,” He said, hand outstretched towards mine.

I stepped back and tried to think for a second, but before I could even begin to weigh my options, I felt two sets of arms hug me.

“Bye, (Y/N)!”

“Yeah! See you tomorrow!”

Raf And Miko, they let go, and ran off to two very nice cars, I then looked over to Jack, who was still waiting for me.

“Alright,” I said, taking his hand and hopping on, wrapping my arms around him, “Just don’t go too fast..please,” He nodded and off we went.

It was nicer than I suspected, feeling the wind blow against my face, and the scenery around constantly changing and moving forward. It was peaceful. But I started to a feel a little bad having fun without my parents, I haven’t really enjoyed silence like this, it was really nice. Ever since they found out and started my recovery, they’ve tried so hard to help me, I feel kinda bad, but I shouldn’t. I started thinking about tons of things, my mind never really settling on a topic to think about, but then I started thinking Jack’s motorcycle, it was really nice and I wish I experience stuff like this more often. Maybe I’ll get a motorcycle too. A yellow and blue one.With a flower on it.Yeah...

The joy I was feeling was short lived, two suspicious looking cars got in the two lanes besides us, boxing us in. I gulped and held onto Jack tighter, closing my eyes, and trying to convince myself everything was going to be okay, that I was just imagining the danger I was sensing, but when I opened my eyes, I could see into the front of the car only to find no driver.

At this point, my heart was beginning to pound, and as I turned to look at the other car, Jack started to speed up, leaving the cars behind, but not for long.

“J-Jack? You saw that right?!”

Silence.

“Jack?bI’m not crazy..am I?”

I gulped and then the bike cane to a sudden stop,

“Hurry (Y/N)! Come on!”

He grabbed my hand and led my away from the car, leaving the bike behind.

”Wait! What’s going on?! Jack?!”

“There’s no time to explain, (Y/N)!! Just Run!” I pulled away from his grip and stopped dead in my tracks despite the sounds of metal clanging and screaming behind me. I was done with the hiding. The only thing I wanted was the truth,

“I want to to know what the FUCK is going on!! You’ve been so ‘busy’ and now when you actually start talking to me and being my friend, some crazy shit starts to happen!??”

Hot tears started to roll down my cheeks and Jack’s face was cleary the look of guilt.

“(Y/N), please!! I know I haven’t said a word to you all last month, and I’ll promise I’ll explain, but right now we have to hide!”

I nodded and tried to wipe my tears while more rolled down my cheeks, Jack grabbed my arm and we hid somewhere, I couldn’t tell where, my vision was blurry, my head was pounding, and I couldn’t calm down. I kept telling myself everything was okay, but...I broke.

“Jack..” I began to laugh through my sobbing. “I’m crazy right?? I’m imagining all of this shit, right??!”

I grabbed onto his shoulders and looked him in the eye, “Right?!!??” He rubbed my head with one hand and my back with the other, “Like I said, (Y/N), I’ll explain everything, I promise..Just try to calm down, Arcee will take care of everything,”

..Arcee? I didn’t question it at the moment..I was too scared and tired from all of my crying and the running. God..I was goddamnded confused..I had to be dreaming..or maybe I forgot to take some of my medicnes?

Yeah..that had to be it, I was finally going crazy, and I’ll be taken to mental hospital..then in 4 weeks I’ll be back home..with mom and dad..yeah..it was gonna be alright

Right?


	3. I Don’t Want To Talk About It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Receiving some injuries from the Decepticon encounter, Jack and his motorcycle friend..Acree have no choice, but to take you back to the base to get cleaned up and explain what the hell happened

Me and Jack were sitting on the ground, waiting.

I heard the battle cries of a female and metal clashing together, the ground shook, and I hugged my knees close to my chest, my eyes glued shut, and my breathing uneven.

Jack was silent, not saying a word, and only comforting me to the best of his abilities.

It helped...

And soon it went quiet, which had to be a good sign, right?

Heavy footsteps that shook the ground bearded towards us. Jack got up and with a smile on his face went to see if whatever was happening was over.

In a single millisecond, his face turned into sheer terror, “Scrap!!”

’Scrap? What kind of figure of speech is that?’ 

Before being able to think about that and try to get my mind off of what was happening, Jack grabbed my arm again and started to book away from where we were standing.

”Scrap! Scrap! Scrap!”

”J-Jack? What happened? Why are we running? Why the hell are you saying ‘scrap’??”

“Con!” He yelled, continuing to run as fast as he could while dragging me along with him.

”C-Con?” I looked back and saw it.

A giant. Metal. Robot.

I screamed and started trying to keep up with Jack.

Everything was loud and in a panic.

I couldn’t hear anything, but the pounding of its giant metal feet and my own screaming. 

We ran and ran and ran, but I couldn’t go on any longer, my pain meds were starting to wear off, and each second of running was unbearable.

Coming to sudden stop, Jack fell, still holding onto my hand, and bringing me with him.

On the ground, weak and tired.We were vulnerable. Like prey that had given up on all hope and waiting for their predator to end their pain.

But, right now was different.

I was scared and I was still kicking.

I didn’t want to die.

I heard something, I looked up and saw the Con charging up a blaster, pointed towards me and Jack.

I didn’t want to die...

I reached for Jack’s hand and squeezed it tightly, he looked at me.

”Everything’s gonna be okay,”

Hot tears started to pour from my eyes and I nodded.

We lied there while the Con was almost done charging the blaster when I heard a familer female battle cry and the sounds of clashing metal.

The Con still fires the blaster and it sent me and Jack into the air for a single moment.

It was almost beautiful.

Until the laws of gravity sent us back the earth floor.

I groaned and winced, fighting back screams that were trapped in my throat.

My eyes widened at the sight of my legs, my socks were ripped, dirtied with blood, old cuts were reopened, and new ones spilled out blood that was starting to form a puddle on the ground.

My arms felt numb, they were bruised, scraped, and cut.My face was bruised and I felt blood dripping down from my nose.

I wiped my face, smearing blood, and getting some on my arm.

My breathing was unstable, the pain in my body was unbearable.

I couldn’t stand it.

Jack.

Jack came to my mind and I started to freak out more than I was already.

I sat up, more pin coursing through my body, and I looked around for him.

But what I saw before me put me in shock.

The Con from earlier was getting plummeted by the female looking robot.

No mercy.

It made my blood go cold.

A felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Jack, his face was bruised, and his jeans were ripped.

Unharmed compared to me.

”(Y/N)! Can you stand?”

I didn’t speak, I only stared.

My mind was racing.

I couldn’t think.

I couldn’t move.

I was frozen.

* * *

Everything else was a blurr.

Jack kept on trying to get me to say something for who knows how long.

The female looking robot approached us, asking Jack what was going on.

”I don't know!! I think she went into to shock!”

He voice was panicky and worried.

I wanted to tell him everything was fine, but I couldn't.

No matter how much I tried to, I couldn’t.

It wasn’t soon after when the robot said something and a portal that you would only see in movies appeared.

Jack picked me up and ran towards it.

I wanted to yell at him to not do it, but even if I could, I don’t think he would listen to me.

On the other side of the portal, there were more robots, I wanted to curl into a ball and cry, but I was still in shock.

Panic filled the room and I heard two familer voices.

”What happened?!”

Raf..?

”Is she okay?? Why does she look dazed?”

Miko?

I blinked in confusion, which seemed to startle my three friends.

”(Y/N)! A-Are you okay?”

I took a deep breath and nodded.

”Oh, Thank God!”

Soon, there was arguing coming from the robots, a red and white on yelling at the female looking one from earlier.

I nudged Jack and eyed them.

“They’re just arguing about how there’s another one now,”

I tilted my head in confusion.

”Nobody’s supposed to know they exist,” Raf said, followed by Miko’s loud voice, “Except us!”

I nodded and cleared my throat, “Uh..Jack, is there somewhere I can sit?”

He nodded and gently put me down, “Come on, (Y/N)! I’ll show you around!”

Miko tugged me and I fell onto the ground, on my legs, which were still bleeding.

”Fuck! Goddamn..,” Tears started to pour down my face again and I curled up into a ball.

”Miko, be careful!”

”I’m sorry!! I didn’t mean to!”

They all started to crowd around me, when the female robots voice began to increase in volume.

“See, Ratchet!? And that would’ve happened to Jack too if I hadn’t gotten there in time! They’re planning something! How else could they have found me and Jack!?”

”Calm down!”

Their shrugging continued until I let out a giggle which turned onto calkling.

”Ha ha HA ha hA ha ha Ha!!”

I wrapped my arms around myself and looked at Jack, “I’m insane, RIGHT!? This is all JUST my imagination!! Or-Or maybe I just forgot to take my medicine!! Y-Yeah!! T-That HAS to be it!!” 

I laughed more and more, so much that I started cry and sob.

Jack looked at me with sadness and wrapped his arms around me, Miko and Raf put their hands on my back.

They were trying to comfort me.

But this wasn’t their fault, I’m finally going into insanity, and soon I’ll be in the mental hospital and I’ll go back home, forever.

The female kneeled down and looked over at Jack, “What’s wrong with her?”

”She’s...I don’t know, I’m pretty sure she’s just freaking out or..something,”

“Miko, Raf, you two get her over to Ratchet,”

”Alright,”

”Um..Arcee? Could we go get something?(Y/N) kinda needs it..”

She nodded.”Of course,”

My laughing start to die down a bit and tears rolled down my cheeks.

”Come on, (Y/N)..Ratchet will fix you up,”

Miko helped me up and Raf gently grabbed my hand, hiding me towards a staircase that led up to a huge platform. Walking up was hard, but Miko And Raf helped me a lot.

Once the platform they sat me down and grabbed a first-aid kit.

Miko patched my face up while Raf cleaned and bandaged my arms, I thanked them and hugged myself.

My head was buzzing and I wanted to sleep, I wanted to just drift off, and wake up, realizing that all of this was a dream, that I haven’t even gotten out of bed, but I knew that wouldn’t happen, no matter how much I tried to believe.

Large footsteps shook the ground and clutched onto to Miko, she chuckled.

”Don’t worry, that’s just Ratchet,” She pointed to the red and white robot from earlier, “You get used to the ground shaking sooner or later,”

Raf sat down next to me, “Yeah, it’s all a little overwhelming at first, but you’ll understand everything soon,”

I nodded.

”Alright,”

It-He.

He spoke, his voice was gruff, low, and rough.

”Let’s see the damage,”

”Wait!”

He looked at me with cold and blue...eyes?It sent a shiver up my spine and a gulped.

”What?”

I took a deep breath, “Isn’t there a uh-um..human doctor?”

”Sadly, no.”

Geez, he didn’t have to be so mean about it.

”Now, if you please, will you take those off?”

I was confused for a second and I guess he could see that because he let out a big sigh.

...Can robots sigh?

Before he could get mad with me Raf spoke, “He means your socks, (Y/N),” He pointed at my bloody and ripped socks, my eyes widened, and through the pain, I pulled my legs close to my chest.

”N-No!”

They all looked at me with surprised looks, but Ratchet shook his head(?) and glared at me.”If you to bleed out and die, that’s your call, but sadly I am not going to let that happen.Now take them off.”

”No!”

”(Y-(Y/N)?!”

”For Primus’ sake!”

Miko grabbed my shoulder, “Just do it, (Y/N). You’ll be doing us all a favor in the end, trust me,” She smiled at me and batted her eyelashes, “Come on, (Y/N)! You're hearing this from Miko,”

That was true, in the little time I got to know Miko, she was a ball of entertainment, troublemaker, and passionate, in her own destructive way.

”O-Okay...”

Ratchet rolled his eyes(?)at me and I gulped, taking off my dirty shoes and slowly peeling off my ragged socks.

My legs were not a sight to behold and I could tell Miko and Raf faces had looks of horror on them.

I looked down and felt shameful, I wanted curl up in a ball and hide from their faces.

”My, it looks like you’ve been injured here before, very badly. Some of these old have reopened, but their not as bad as the from your Con encounter, I should be able to patch you up in a few kliks,”

I tilted my head I’m confusion at him.

”Kliks?”

”Minutes, to you humans,”

I nodded and let him get to work, it was strange. Watching a living robot or being(whatever) help me and fix my legs is weird, but I wanted to trust Ratchet and all of these other robots, Jack seemed to trust that female looking one....Arcee was her name. Miko and Raf seem to trust them too, so I’ll try to as well, not much else I can anyway.

* * *

Ratchet was done fixing up my legs, but told me not to move too much, telling me that a lost a bit of blood, but that I should fine in a few ‘Solar cycles’ which I learned means, days.

I watched Racthet work for quite some time and soon enough, Jack came back. With my dirted backpack!

”You didn’t have to go get it, Jack..”

”Yes, I did. You have your medication in here, you need them,”

I hugged him tightly, “Thank you, again,”

I then started to squeeze the life out of him.

”Now,  **EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING.** _”_


	4. Choking On Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Jack giving you a brief summary what the frick is going on, you meet the rest of these so called Autobots and get asigned a guardian, much to his dismay

“This is Bulkhead,”

The giant green bot waved at me and grinned.

”Bumblebee,”

I looked over to the yellow bot who let out a series of beeps and boops, apperantly Bee lost his voice box during war, from what I was told and Ratchet wasn’t able to fix it.

I could tell that he felt kinda bad about it, I mean, despite the little time and bad introduction, along with I barely understand half of the things he says, I could tell. Being depressed and going through all of the motions of guilt and trying to hide just...gives you the capability to notice certain things.

”You’ve already met Arcee and Ratchet,”

I nodded and then looked back up the red and blue bot,

”And I am Optimus Prime, Leader Of The Autobots,”

He gestured to himself and continued to talk, his voice was calm and had a sweet, warm, comforting feeling to it.

Unlike Ratchet’s cold and gruff voice, but it kinda made me wonder what it sound like if he tried to speak gently, but my mind and thoughts wondered onto other things.

They were here because their home planet was destroyed and their enemy, Megatron, leader of the Deceptions, had landed on Earth in search for Energon, which was like their life force.

Racthet had promised to explain it to me so I didn’t ask any questions later, he’s really grumpy. Just like my uncle, except my uncle was nice and sweet on the inside, a teddy bear.

Ratchet didn’t seem anything like a teddy bear, not even a robotic one, but what do I know? I only just met him.

I felt really bad for all of them.

They were forced to stay here, no home or family to go too.

Good friends and allies lost in war.

I didn’t want to think about it.

I shouldn’t be thinking about it.

I’m trying to leave my depressed state of mind, not make it worse.

”So, that’s why you are now required to stick with us, young (Y/N),”

”Wait, What?”

I looked sheepishly up at him, a bit embarrassed that I had not been paying attention to him, it was rather rude of me.

But I’m still processing things, he can’t expect me to understand everything once It’s all laid out before me.

”The Decepticons saw you with Arcee and Jack, you are now a target, you are in need of protection and we will provide that protection,”

”So, how does that work?”

Miko looked like she was about to go on a tangent on how everything worked, but I already knew she was going to talk till her face was blue and I still wouldn’t understand squat.

Luckily, Optimus managed to explain before Miko had the chance to open her mouth.

”You will be assigned an Autobot or ‘guardian’, as Miko likes to put it,”

A small smile found a way onto my face.Even though it’s been a few hours since my deadly encounter with a Con and meeting all of these Cybertronians, as they called themselves, and already getting into an argument with Ratchet, their medic(I didn’t think alien robots would need medics, but *shrug* whatever)because I was scared of what he would say about my scars.

Actually, now that I think about it.

Raf And Miko are the only who gave an actual response upon seeing my scars, Ratchet just brushed his ‘digits’(It’s what they call fingers, apparently)over them like they weren’t even there, but then again, he’s a medic.

A war medic.

He’s probably seen worse.

”So...who’s gonna be my ‘guardian’?” I did air quotes and I swear I could hear a laughing Miko behind me, which made my smile spread across my face.

All of the smiling was actually starting really hurt my face.

”Racthet will take the responsibility,”

”WHAT?!”

(Not)Surprising, Ratchet also seemed to be shocked by this.

The bumpy introduction clearly showed me that Ratchet wasn’t a peoples(?) person, I mean, I wasn’t either, but that was besides the point.

The Prime gave Ratchet a look before turning his attention back to me, “I cannot take the responsibility myself, so Ratchet will,” He looked backed up at Ratchet,

“He needs the experience,” 

“Alright...” ‘I guess..’ I shifted my weight onto my left leg and played with my hands, not really knowing what to do at all.

”Now, that all of that’s outta the way,” Miko gently grabs my hand, “Ready for that tour I promised you?”

I looked back at Jack and Arcee, who was standing behind him. They nodded and Jack ushered me to spend some time with Miko, cause getting dragged around the Autobots base was totally gonna be fun, especially when Miko’s here.

* * *

I sat on the metal floor of the platform, sliding down the wall, exhausted. My legs still ached and Miko pulling me all over the base didn’t help one bit.

I know she means well, but I don’t know how long I can deal with her energetic personality. I let a sigh escape my lips and wrapped my arms around myself, trapping my body in a hug of my own.

I opened my eyes to see Ratchet working at his...desk.

My throat suddenly felt dry for no reason and I swallowed the saliva in my mouth that was already forming. I found my myself cautiously getting up and finding my way to the stairwell near Ratchet’s desk.

I sat down and watched him work, but the entire time I wanted to say something, and communication wasn’t my strong suit, obviously.

It was actually peaceful, despite the sounds of Miko, Jack, and Raf playing video games on the couch that the Autobots had gotten for them.

But, despite all of that, it was nice.

Sitting here and watching the medic was  _nice._

I rested my arms on the bar and laid my head on them, getting into a comfortable position, and letting myself relax. Unwind.

For once, my mind was silent.

No worries, no pain, and no voices, for a single moment.

And a single moment only.

...

I’m guessing I fell asleep cause I opened my eyes to seeing Jack kneel next to me, “Come on, (Y/N), it’s time to go home,”

”Huh..oh,”

I carefully got up and stretched, well to the best of my abilities. I wouldn’t even call it stretching if I was being completely honest.

I grabbed my bag from the platform and walked onto the metal floor, watching as I saw the Autobots transform for the first time.

They collapsed onto themselves and formed modern every day vehicles.

It was pretty cool.

Patitently waiting for Ratchet to transform, I said my farewells to my friends, giving Jack a long and tight hug before he headed off.

Still waiting, I shifted my feet, and cleared my throat.

Ratchet looked down at his pedes(feet?Idk, that’s what he told that they were) to see me, small, awkward, and getting a little impatient.

”Oh right...I forgot about you,”

I furrowed my eyebrows at him, “Hey!”

”Alright, Alright! I’m coming,”

I glared at him, but that glare soon turned into amazement as I watched him transform into a ambulance, what a surprise.

”Hurry up, the sooner I get you home the sooner both me and you can get back to our lives,”

I silently got into the passnager seat and buckled up, holding my backpack close to my chest, and keeping my body completely still.

The whole situation was weird, werid for me at least.I was...technically speaking, inside Ratchet and I don’t know everything about Cybertronians, but if I were one in this kind of situation, I would think it be at least a little awkward or uncomfortable.

Other than that, the ride was smooth, and quiet. Once I gave Ratchet my address, he took me there with no problem, no need for directions, nothing. Like he’s drove down my neighborhood millions of times before, usually people get lost when they first come into this neighborhood.

I remember when my family first moved houses here, we weren’t able to find our house until 15 minutes, with the GPS, and directions from the residents.

He parked infront of my driveway and opened the door, ushering me to hurry along.

”Thanks, Ratchet,”

”There’s nothing you should be thanking me for, I was assigned as your guardian, and this is now my responsibility, along with the other of thousands I have. You are just another along the list, now go on inside,”

I won’t admit, but I was a little hurt by his words, ‘One responsibility along the list’? I frowned and gulped harshly, forcing down the bucket of emotions threatening to spill out, I couldn’t let him know that this bothered me, but I’m guessing that he could still tell I was hurt by his words, his gruff and cold voice didn’t make it any better.

”Don’t give me that look, head inside now. I’m sure your carrier and sire are deeply worried about you,”

”...What’s a carrier? Or a sire?”

He exvented(Ratchet told that their vents act like lungs, so sighing, and all of that was the same, just named differently), “Mother, Father,”

”Oh,”

”Now go on, I have important work I need to get back to at the base,”

”Alright...”

I began to walk towards the front door, but I turned around to look back at Ratchet, his door swung close, and he was about to take off, “Good night, Ratchet,”

”...Good night,”

He drove off and I walked into my house, embracing my parents, and trying to come up with a logical and reasonable explanation for my absence and wounds.

The rest of the night, was alright, I took a shower, took my painkillers, and went to bed.

But, before sleep took me away, I wondered if when I woke up, all of what happened today would be just a dream, a part of hoped so, but the other didn’t.


	5. Simple Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yesterday was crazy and that saying, “you’ll feel that in the morning,” was true, cause you hurt, like hell.
> 
> You’re in the hospital when your friends pay you a visit, telling you about their days, and how Ratchet has bothered to come pick you up from school.
> 
> Speaking of the ol’ bot, awhile after your parents left, he came and busted you, ‘claiming that he was obligated to’, but you’re half-convinced Optimus told him to come check on you.

Getting up this morning wasn’t easy.

My head hurt, along with my entire body. Everything ached and sore, my body bruised, and my legs felt like they were on fire, they were burning, and I could barely move them.

My eyes teared up at the pain and I tried to sit up, failing, and falling back down onto the bed. I winced and reached over for my phone that was on the edge of my night stand. Reaching for it, it fell onto the floor with a thump.

I groaned and more hot tears rolled down my cheeks. ”M-Mom!! Dad!!”

I heard their heavy and fast footsteps up the stairs, my door slammed open.

”What’s wrong?!”

”My l-legs!!”

Father took a hold of my hand, squeezing tightly, and Mother rubbed my head in hopes of calming me down, “What’s wrong with your legs??” More hot tears rolled down my face,”T-They burn!!”

And that’s all it took.

In one fell swoop, Father had picked me up and ran to the car. On our way to hospital, I passed out. I was tired and the pain was unbearable.

I couldn’t take it,

At least I know that yesterday wasn’t a dream.

* * *

 My body felt numb when I awoke, my fingers felt tingly, and my mind was fuzzy. Everything was a blurr, I couldn’t see much, but I could hear everything around me.

”It’s amazing, her legs have seemed to have gained new cuts and bruises, along with old cuts reopening, but she’s in better condition than one would think,”

”What do you think happened? Is she okay? Do we need to do anything?”

”Calm down, Mrs.(L/N). Like I said, her condition could be worse, she most likely got treatment when she first acquired the injuries. Professional treatment too, but from the looks of it, the tools used weren’t the best or professionally crafted,”

He’s talking about Ratchet.

A smile found a way onto my face, to be honest, I didn’t really question Ratchet’s work, he was the medic,not me.

To be honest, I should’ve seen this coming, it’s not like Racthet didn’t do the best he could, but he’s robot medic, not a human one. Besides he doesn’t know  _everything_ about us humans.

Does he?

”Ah, looks like she’s awake,”

I tried to shrink away at the attention, the explation that I gave my parents yesterday barely made sense, now I know that they’ll be persistent.

Mom sat down my side and grabbed my hand, rubbing my knuckles softly, “How do you feel?”

”Numb.”

Dad looked at me with worried eyes, he didn’t know much about all of this medical stuff, but he did his best to try to understand and even explain things that even I didn’t understand.

”That’s the medicine, it’s strong, but it’ll keep you from feeling any pain until you get better,”

I nodded and squeezed mom’s hand.

”(Y/N)....things are strange and I know..”

Mother took a gulp and a deep breath, trying to keep herself from crying, choking up, and getting all emotional infront of me, Dad seemed to be doing the same.

”We understand if you don’t wanna talk about what happened, but you can if you need to, and we will intervene if you ever need us to, okay?”

I put on a smile smile and nodded, she kissed my forehead, and hugged me tightly.

”Excuse me, Dr.Kade, patient (Y/N) has a few visitors that would like to see her,”

I looked at the nurse to Ms.Darby, Jack’s mom. I was actually told that she knew about the autobots too and the look she gave me told me that she knew, that I knew, and that I also knew that she knew.

It was an awkward millisecond, at least for me.

”Alright, they can come on in. Mr. and Mrs.(L/N), May you come with me, I have more things to discuss with y’all,”

”Right, we love you sweetie,”

They both gave me a kiss on each cheek and left the room, soon after, Ms.Darby came in with Miko, Jack, and Raf following behind her.

”Hey, (Y/N), how are you feeling?”

”Yeah, from what we heard, you were dying,”

”Miko!” Both Of The boy’s scolded Miko for her little joke and I chuckled a little, shaking my head and clearing my throat.

”Well, my legs don’t feel like they’re being burned alive anymore, so that’s a plus,”

They all looked at me with concerned looks and I tried to chase the embarrassment away by chuckling a bit, “Sorry, dark humor,”

They awkwardly chuckled and I rubbed the back of head, “Um..how was school today?”

”Same as usual,”

”Actually, after school, when we really started worrying about where the hell you where, guess who we saw?!”

”...I don’t know, who?”

”Ratchet!”

”What?!”

Raf And Jack nodded, shrugging their shoulders.

”Yeah, he was just there, grumpy and quiet,”

”B-But, Why?! Why was he there?”

”Don’t you remember, every day after school were supposed to report to bass or whatever, Optimus’ rules,”

My cheeks went a little pink from the embarrassment of yesterday’s events, I really wish I hadn’t spaced out now.

”He was so cheesed that you weren’t there! But once Jack got the call about you, he just rode off,”

”Huh...”

”Yeah, but I’m sure he isn’t mad, to be honest, I think he’s worried about you,”

My cheeks went more pink and rubbed the back of my head, “That’s nice of him...”

”Pretty unusual in my opinion,”

Miko sllinhed her arm around my shoulders, “Maybe Ratchet’s finally seeing the beauty and worth of humans in you,”

My chest warmed up and I smiled, followed with a little giggle.

”Yeah, maybe,”

* * *

 I sat in my bed texting Jack, it was lunch time at school and apparently they were selling fishsticks and bananas, not the bet combination, but it’s food.

Mom and Dad had left the house a few hours ago, they weren’t able to take a few days off as of right now so I’m just stuck at home. My legs weren’t hurting as much, but still felt like I was being baked like a potato. 

It was really nice staying home, despite not being able to move as much as I would like to. I have to limit my movement and go downstairs only so little times, it was really bugging me, but I can learn to live with it, kinda.

I heard a knock at the door and my body froze  up, I couldn’t exactly go downstairs and make sure we weren’t getting robbed, but I couldn’t just lie in bed.

I decided to take my chances and head downstairs, but getting out of bed would be the hard part, just because my legs were numb doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to walk.

I slowly got out of bed and inched my way down the stairs, leaning against the wall, and walking as fast as I could, which wasn’t very fast at all.

I stepped on my tippy toes and looked through the peep hole, I saw an old man or what looked to be an old man, a very grumpy looking one I might add. I watched him for awhile and he got more and more impatient, knocking again and again.

I then noticed the familer ambulance parked in the driveway and it all kinda made sense, kinda. I’ll have to ask Ratchet about it.

I open the door slowly, peaking me head from behind, and saw Ratchet, in human form apparently!

”Finally! Do you know how long I’ve been wai-?”

”7 minutes,”

He look a little bewildered at me then it seemed to click in his head, “You little-!What were you just waiting?”

Before he could go on a tangent, I told him about my legs felt like twigs, and how usually I don’t open doors to old looking men.

He went silent for a minute, averting his gaze from mine.

“What are you even doing here?”

“Yes, well...I’m here to take care of you, as it obvious that your parents aren’t home and you are not capable of even standing up, as your guardian, I am obligated to take of you in such a weaken state,”

I tilted my head at him and shrugged, “Alright..I guess that makes sense,”

A moment of silence.

”May I come inside?”

”O-Oh, yeah!Sorry..”

Ratchet stepped inside my home and I swear that I heard him mumble “Don’t call me old..” and it made me giggle a little.

it was weird if I’m honest. I mean the giant alien robot that was pissy about becoming my guardian is now feeling obligated to take care of me after an encounter with their enemy.

...

Actually, the whole running into their enemy part might be a guilt trip for him, either way, it was weird. Then again, Optimus may have told him to come.

I watched the old looking man as he set something down on the coffe table and he pulled something, “Sit down, if you will,”

He said while gesturing towards the couch and I obliged, he pulled out a weird...data pad?I don’t know and hovered it over my legs, I watched in amazement as the data pad light up with info and a picture of my bones, etc.

He studied it and went back to the suitcase on the coffe table, I just sat there and watched him work.

It almost seemed like forever since he began to analyze the date pad and I let out a quiet yawn.

Racthet turned his head towards me and raised an eyebrow, “Are you tired?” “A little bit...my painkillers make me sleepy sometimes,” He let out a ‘hmmm’ and went back to work.

I layed down and closed my eyes, my breathing steady and my body relaxed, I then felt a hand rub my head and mumbling in some strange language.

I then felt a blanket draped over me, I cracked my eye open a bit and saw Ratchet with a small smile on his face and seeing him smile made me smile.

I felt like Ratchet was the kind of guy who doesn’t get to smile much and knowing that  _something_ I did made him smile gave me a warm feeling in my chest.


	6. Friendly Disagreements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After waking up from a peaceful nap, you find the grumpy doctor still in your house.
> 
> Knowing that he won’t go, you try to use this time to get to know him better, of course, that doesn’t go as planned, as usual.

I woke up from my peaceful nap to hear grumbling and curses, my face scrunched up in confusion and annoyance.

He seemed to still be fiddling with the data pad in one hand while the other held some papers. On the table there was fresh clean bandages, medication, and weird looking fruit I pdon’t think I’ve seen before.

”Ah, good. You're finally awake,”

I looked at him, “Finally? Did you try waking me up earlier?”

”Yes, and despite my best efforts you reminded unconscious,”

I shrugged my shoulders and rubbed the back of my head, “Mom and dad have always told me I’m deep sleeper,”

He put down the data pad and looked at me with his cold ice blue eyes, even in human form, they still gave me a chill.

”Speaking of them, where are they? I would think they’d be all over you given your fragile state of health,”

”Oh, well...they’re both at work,”

”WHAT?!”

He screamed and I covered my ears which were still trying to adjust to the noise from being asleep for who knows how long. To be honest, I didn’t think Ratchet would get pissed off at this, but then again, I barely know him.

”What are they doing at their work facilities instead of taking care of you?!”

”They couldn’t get any time off, so they left, but it’s fine. They left everything that I need in my room so I don’t have to go downstairs-“

”I don’t care if they made sure you have everything you need to take care of yourself!! They left you here!”

”Ratchet! It’s really alright, I know how to take care of myself!”

”You got tired from coming down the stairs to greet me,”

Alright, he had a point there.

”And here in your medical diagnosis, it says that you shouldn’t be moving at all, bandages need to be changed every 2 hours, medication needs to be taken every 6 hours!!”

Geez, I’m glad Dr.Sunny isn’t like this.

”And why didn’t you tell me that you took other medication for mental health?!”

”I’m sorry??”

”You should be! Taking all different kinds of medication could seriously affect you!! Even the ones that these organic doctors have recommended you, you still need to be weary about all of the things you’re injecting into your system!”

By then, I stopped paying attention, I mean, could you blame me??

I’m a 16 year old girl in Nevada, Jasper who barely makes it by some classes, science included, sick in the brain, and is now dealing with alien robots from a far off planet called Cybertron. I think I have a right to not know what the fuck he’s talking about.

I mean, I know he’s a doctor and all, but I’ve been doing my first month of recovery just fine with the lot of medication doctors have prescribed me.

Actually, all of the medication on the coffe table is just from the cabinet. If he found all of the others in my room then he’d be pissed, no doubt about it.

As he kept on rambling about doctor and medically things that I had no understanding of, I noticed his human forms(?) features, and now that I do look at him, he doesn’t look  _that_ old. Maybe in his mid or late 30’s, he also had a stubble, which I have to admit, only added to his grumpy look.

And the way he was dressed didn’t help either, a peach sweater with a lab coat looked nice, so did his jeans and shoes, they looked designer, but what do I know about fashion?

I kinda wish he’d just get off my back and relax, “WHAT ARE YOU SMILING AT?!! I AM TRYING TO TELL YOU HOW TO TAKE PROPER CARE OF YOURSELF!!”

His sudden loud tone made me yelp, and I noticed, I was smiling, and it was starting to hurt. Not as much as the other day, but still.

He exvented and growled in annoyance before throwing his hands in the air in defeat and sitting on the floor, cross-crossed like an angry toddler. I couldn’t help but snicker.

He huffed and scowled at me.

”Haha, come on, Ratchet!”

I poked his cheek and he was obviously starting to get annoyed, so I stopped, not wanting to anger the bot anymore.

We sat in silence for a while, it had to be the most awkward 5 minutes of my life, but luckily, Ratchet started up conversation.

”...How are you feeling?”

”Better now that my legs don’t feel like they’re on fire,”

”That’s...good,”

I shook my head, Ratchet was trying too hard, and it was honestly kinda funny, but I didnt dare laugh.

”Ratchet,”

”Yes?”

”How are you doing that?”

He tilted his head, “Doing What?”

”That,” I gestured to his human body.

”Oh, my holoform?Well, that’s quite simple to explain, you see-,”

”Wait! Holoform? But you can touch stuff and I can touch you,”

He sighed and shook his head, “My holoform is physical, Whatever you’re referring to is clearly not what I’m talking about,”

Weird, but I didn’t say anything.

”Alright,”

”Now as I was saying before you rudely interrupted me, our bodies are able to produce a holoform in the case we need to disguise ourselves as our environments inhabitants, allowing us to walk safely among them,”

”Ohh, I see, you y’all just go full changling and walk among the people sometimes, yeah?”

He chuckled.

 _He chuckled_.

My chest warmed up again hearing his deep, hoarse, and loud chuckle made me smile softly and my chest tightened. It felt weird, but it also felt nice. A weird nice.

”I suppose that’s one way to interpret it, we can also reduce our mass and size,”

”Really?! So you’re basically the same but smaller?? Wait! Then how come you’re using a holoform and not..reduce mass..size thing,”

”This neighborhood is a very populated area, I cannot afford to be seen, and it’s called mass reconciliation. To answer your other question, yes, but we cannot do it for very long as it takes a lot of energy,”

”Fair enough...I bet it would be tiring to do that though, people get tired of wearing costumes, so that’s the same logic,”

”Costumes? Why would your people need to alter their form to walk among yourselfs?”

Oh my lord, in all of his years on Earth he still didn’t know what Halloween was? Or musicals/Plays? What if the rest of the Autobots don’t know what those are?

What kind of lives have they been living?

* * *

Me and Ratchet had been taking for hours, I told him about holidays and few songs from musicals that I enjoy, I even showed him my history book collection, which, if I didn’t know better, I would say he was impressed or interested at the least.

”It’s truely fascinating how you organics record everything, all of the things that you’ve done,”

He held the old history book I gave him and seemed in deep focus, it was kinda...cute. 

Cute to see the 60 ft robot, now in a small human form, criss crossed, on the floor, while reading a history book, and I was sitting right next to him, witnessing it all.

”Yeah...history has always been my strong suit so my parents always buy me history books whenever they can,”

”Really now? But it seems you’re already well supplied with many books,”

I shrug my shoulders, “Yeah, but I’ve read almost all of them, so I’m always in need of more,”

He put the book down and grabbed the fresh bandages, “Sorry to interrupt our little reading session, but you are in need of a fresh change of bandages,”

I groaned and glared at him, “Really?!But you’re reading the most interesting chapter!How can you put it down?”

”(Y/N), stop trying to stall, you’re failing,”

I pouted and seated myself infront of Ratchet and watched as he began to unwrap my old bandages. (Not)Surprisingly, he didn’t stop there. He inspected my legs and typed a few things into his data pad, still holding one of my legs, looking at it closely, making sure he analyses everything.

It made my chest swell up and I felt weird in my stomach, but I did my best to ignore it and tried to sit still for Ratchet, knowing he would get annoyed if I kept on fidgeting while he was trying to wrap fresh bandages on my legs.

”Your legs seem to be healing just fine and should be okay to starting using them in about 3 weeks,”

”3 weeks?! Ughh..I’m never gonna survive that long..,”

”Oh stop being so dramatic, your species is able to survive longer in way worse conditions,”

”Uh, like a million years ago, Ratchet!”

”Nonsense, you organics are able to mimick anything from the infromation I gathered,”

”Only some of us can!”

Whilst we were agruing about humans from a millions years and all that other confusing genetics stuff(which Ratchet was clearly winning cause he’s studied human anatomy and all of that junk), we didn’t hear the cars parking the driveway nor the sound of the door unlocking, then swinging open.

”Do you think she’s alright?”

”(F/N), she has to be the most responsible person in this house, I’m sure she’s okay,”

Still not noticing my parents and I continued to argue with Ratchet, “We change over time, Ratchet!!We’re not the same as we were back then!”

”Nonsense! Some Of you organics go out into the wild and survive for years!”

”With years of preparation, Ratchet!!”

”(Y/N)?!”

Oh shit.

I saw Ratchet’s eyes go wide and he visibly started to panick, I turned to my parents, and gave them a little wave. “Hi?”

”Who is this-this old man?? And why are you talking to him-No!Why is he in our house!?”

“D-Dad!! It’s not what it looks like!! Just let me explain everything! I swear there’s nothing wrong!”

”Well, then start explaining, young lady!”

Mom crosses her arms and gave me ‘the look’, I nodded. “Y-Yes, ma’m!”

* * *

“So this man, Dr.Ratchet,” Mother said whilst gesturing to Ratchet, who was visibly uncomfortable, I mean geez, I don’t think I’m ever gonna see the guy so tight lipped again. “Is one of Jack’s..friends and the one who treated your wounds?”

He nodded, “Yes, I am..”

”Yeah, despite how stubborn I was when he was fixing me up, he’s still put up with me,”

He scowled at me, but before we could get into another argument, he was wrapped up in my parents embraces, “Oh, thank you so much!! We can not express our gratitude!”

Ratchet looked even more uncomfortable and his body stiffened up, he had never gotten this kind of thanks for doing his job, but it was...nice.

But, it was starting to get awkward, and it was 6:45, Ratchet’s been here since 2:00 or even longer, I don’t know. I do know that I needed to get Ratchet out of the house before my parents tried to pry more info out of him about anything about what he does or himself in general.

“Alright! Well, Dr.Ratchet has to get going now! I’m sure everyone else is worried about you!”

Ratchet seemed to catch on immediately, thank god. And began to follow my lead, “Y-Yes, sorry to cut this meeting short, but I must return to my duties,”

Sadly, Mom wasn’t having it, “Come on, why don’t you stay for dinner? It’s the least we can do for taking care of our little girl!”

”Mom!”

Ratchet chuckled,  _again_ , and a small smile formed on his face,  _a soft smile that made my stomach feel weird, again_.

”Sorry, But I’ll sadly have to decline, but I’ll take up on the offer another time. Have a good night, Mr. and Mrs.(L/N),”

”Alright, but I expect you for dinner sometime, Dr.Ratchet!”

”I will, Mr.(L/N),”

”Alright! Enough with the goodbyes, he’s gotta get back home!”

I pushed Ratchet out the door and sighed, “That was close..”

”Too close, and seriously, ‘Dr.Ratchet’? Is that the best you could’ve come up with?”

”Shut up, Ratchet!!”

He shook his head and rubbed my head, “I’ll be back again tomorrow to check on you, affirmative?”

My heart stopped for a millisecond and it took me a moment to process what he had just said.

”Affimative?”

”A-Affimative!”

”Alright, you take it easy now and I mean it!”

I giggled and nodded, “Alright, have a good night, Ratchet!”

”Good night, (Y/N),”

I watched him leave until he was out of sight, I sighed, and grabbed the fabric of my shirt tightly.

Why was I feeling so weird at the little things he did? There was nothing special about what he did...or was there?


	7. Familiars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past week has been nice, with Ratchet checking on you a lot, and Jack and the others checking in on you too.
> 
> During one of Jack, Miko, and Raf’s visits, they question on how you and Ratchet got so close in just a week, but you wouldn’t exactly call it ‘close’ more like...familiars.

 

The past week has been enjoyable, especially with Ratchet checking in on me almost all of the time, making a run for it before your parents get home, rinse and repeat, but everyone had their fair share of checking on and spending time with me.

As of right now, Jack, Miko, and Raf came over to spend time with me and sleep over for the night. We all were indulged in a game of ‘Headbands’ as that was the only game that we didn’t try to kill eachother over, unlike ‘Monopoly’.

“N-No! No! Am I huge!?”

”No. Miko for the last time, you’re not a elephant,”

”Aw, come on!”

I rolled my eyes and stifled a cough, lately I’ve been getting into coughing fits, Ratchet said it was most likely due to allergies, but it was barely even spring.

”You’re something I can step on,”

”A bug!”

”No, Miko!”

“You. Are Not. A living thing!”

Alright, maybe they will kill eachother over this...

”Times up!”

A pull the cars from Miko’s headband and show it to her.

”I was a ladder?!”

”Yup, indeed you were,”

”Ughh! This is boring!! Why can’t we play video games?!”

”I think Miko’s right on this one, this is pretty boring,”

”Come on, Raf! I thought you liked these games!”

”Ehhh,”

I sighed and took off my headband, throwing it into the box, and everyone else followed suit. Jack began gathering up the cards, “Well, if we’re not gonna be playing games, then what are we gonna do?”

”Uhhh...”

”Why doesn’t (Y/N) tell us about this!”

Mino pointed at my tattoos with sparkles in her eyes, “Oh, those. Well, after the first week of my recovery my parents let me get any tattoo anywhere on my body as a..gift,”

”Really?”

”Really,”

”That’s so cool!”

”What made you choose stars and planets?”

”Excellent question, Raf! It was the night that-...that-“

I choked back a sob that had form at the thought of the memory of that horrible night, but at the same time, it was the most life changing and I knew I would never be able to forget it.

”That?”

Tears starts to roll down my cheeks and I continued to stay silent.

The entire rooms atmosphere turned cold and stil, quiet. I could hear the clock ticking, their breathing, my whimpering, the cars passing by outside, everything. For just one silent minute, I could hear everything.

Then, I was pulled back by the warm touch of Jack’s hand wrapping around mine. “It was the night I convinced her to seek help,”

I could see the worry in their eyes, their body language. It seemed like they wanted to say something, but they never did.

”It was such a beautiful night...I-..I was so-so lost,”

I squeezed Jack’s hand.

”I was actually going to-...I was going to kill myself. I’d always thought about it, but that night. I was going to actually do it. I felt numb,”

He squeezed back.

”It was such a quiet night, but I could still hear the-..the voices. In my head, screaming.”

My heart began to pound against my chest as that night came into mind.

”My legs felt limb, I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t stand the pain of just getting out of bed each and every single goddamn day,”

Beat.

”I don’t know how I got to the river. The idea of drowning always seemed...kinda beautiful to me, something that gives us life could also take it away in matter of minutes.”

Beat.

“The sky was lit up with stars and moon shined so brightly. The river looked beautiful with the moonlight reflecting off of it, to be honest. The way I saw it, it was going to be a peaceful death. No struggling, nothing to hold me back from letting the water take me away.”

Beat.

“It seemed peaceful. Now it only seems horrifying.”

Beat.

”I don’t know how Jack even found me, but he did,”

Beat.

”I’m glad he talked me out of it, I really am.”

My grip tightened on Jack’s hand, my throat was dry, and I could hear my pounding heartbeat in my ears.

”I’m glad that I got the chance to fix myself...”

Tears began to pour down my face.

”I’m glad that I had the chance to meet y’all and get tied up with this ailen war shit,”

”Aww, (Y/N)! Come here!” Miko wrapped her arms around me, embracing me in a bear hug. Even though it was very tight, I didn’t say anything, and returned it the hug with a squeeze.

Jack and Raf joined in, I couldn’t help, but sob. A smile plastered on my face as the tears rolled down my cheeks and snot ran down my nose. “You guys are the best..” I squeezed tighter, afraid that if I let go, I’d be all alone again. “I couldn’t ask for better friends!”

We all sat there for awhile, hugging eachother tightly, not saying a word. My pounding heart seemed to calm down and all that was left of my sobs were sniffling and the occasional hiccup. Everything was okay in that moment, I only wished that it would last forever, but time waits for no one and nothing.

“Alright...I’m okay now..”

”We can stay like this for a little longer, (Y/N),”

”N-No, I’m serious. You all are crushing me..”

They all let go and shouted in unison, “Sorry!” I took a few deep breaths and smiled at them with my tear stained face. “It’s fine, y’all didn’t mean to. Now enough about my dad miserable life, could we talk about seomtbing else?”

”Oh! Why don’t we y’all her about that time we got stuck in a alternate reality!?”

”Wait- You guys did what?”

”Miko snuck off into the battle zone, again. So me and Raf had to go after her, but there was this malfunction in the GroundBridge and we ended up in another dimension with a decepticon,”

As Raf continued to tell the story with Miko and Jack adding comments or little details Raf left out. I sat there listening to every word, I was in amazement and apparently, the decepticon was still trapped in the Shawdowzone. Miko then told me about when Bulkhead got a Energon formula in his head and she had to keep him safe from Knockout and Breakdown, two decepticons that almost got to him. Actually, that event happened only 3 weeks ago.

Their stories with the Autobots so far made me laugh and giggle. It was nice to hear what they’ve been through together, even if they weren’t around at the base all of the time, they still got their fair share of experiences with the Bot’s. It actually made me excited to be spending time with them.

I’ve only been to the base once, but the time I spent there, I was treated kindly, and Acree seemed quite interesting. She worried about me as much as Jack was. It wouldn’t hurt to try and get to know her more.

Suddenly, the buzzing of the doorbell could be heard. I got up slowly, it had been a week and a half so most of the pain was gone, but I ached. I walked over to the door and opened it to see my parents mumbling things to eachother with bags in hand. They hadn’t even noticed that I had open the door.

”Do you think she’s alright? She hasn’t had a sleepover since she was 7.”

”(F/N). She’s fine, she’s in safe hands. I trust those three with her, especially that Jack. He’s a responsible young man”

Ugh, not this kind of stuff again. ”Mom, I’m right here”

“(Y/N),” She smiled at me, I half smiled back. The look on her face and dad’s seemed a bit shocked.

Before Jack, Miko, And Raf came over, I hadn't  smiled all week. 

I stepped aside, still holding the door open for them.

”Hey honey,” Dad kissed the top of my head, “How have you guys been holding up the fort?” 

“We’ve been fine, dad”

”Well, I hope you’re all hungry” Mom placed the food on the dining table and started to set things up.

”Woohoo! Food!” Miko got up from the floor, Jack, and Raf followed suit. 

I closed the door and joined them at the table.

”Thank you again for letting us stay the night”

My mother smiled at Raf, “It’s no problem, Rafael. We’re happy to let you three stay, I’m just glad that (Y/N) is making more friends”

I softly smiled at her words. She was proud of me.. it was weird, cause.. I already knew she was. I guess just actually hearing her say it and hear it for myself is.. nice. Yeah, it’s nice.

“Go ahead you four, eat away. Upon (Y/N)’s request, we bought some movies for you guys to watch”

Miko face lit up, from what Jack told me, she loved horror movies. I’m kinda a fan of them myself so I asked my parents if they could rent some.

”Awesome! I actually brought some video games, so we can play all night after we watch those!”

”I’m not gonna let you beat me this time, Miko”

”In your dreams” Miko smirked at Jack. Raf rolled his eyes, a smile on his face.

That’s honestly what I like about Raf, he doesn’t really care. I mean he does, he’s a kid, but he doesn’t let the stupid stuff get to him.

He’s honestly pretty mature, much more than Miko at least. It’s kinda weird, I feel a good connection with him. He’s kinda like the little brother I never had.

 

A little brother?

Where’d that thought come from?

I stared down at my plate and the fork in my hand. My grip tightening around the utensil.

A little brother... Raf feels like a little brother to me. I softly smiled and took a bite from my food.


	8. Just Kids Being Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That night, you can’t sleep. Too many thoughts and terrors inside your mind. But somehow, you talk your way into sleep with someone else who’s having a rough night.
> 
> After 3 weeks of being stuck at home, you’re free to go back to school. Yay. But you’re finally able to go the base for the second time in almost a month and you’re able to spend more time with Ratchet, as well as get to know the other Autobot’s more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Golly, it’s been awhile huh? Well, I can (kinda) officially say that I’ll be able to post a little more often now I finally got my life together. Soft of. But worry not, because more chapters are on the way!

I lied on the floor, staring up at the ceiling.

Miko and Jack’s snoring was quiet, but I noticed the hitches in their breathing. The way they would stop snoring for a minute and start back up again, it was no stable pattern. And I noticed it, a curse of being observant when you’re tired as hell.

I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face, I hated the nighttime. I  **hated** it.

I felt so lonely and scared. 

I swallowed-No- forced down a breath of air down my throat, like if I didn’t I would choke silently.

My lip began to quiver.

No..

No.

_No._

_**No!** _

 

I did good today! Didn’t I?

 

Why am I feeling this way after a  _good day_?

 

I rubbed my hands once more over my face. I wanted to scratch my eyes, tear them out so I wouldn’t be able to cry anymore. So I wouldn’t be able to make a fool of myself.

My throat croaked out a whimper.

 

”(Y/N)?”

 

 _Fuck_.

I gulped, took a deep breath of air, trying to regain my composure. “Y-You’re still up, Raf?”

”I cant sleep..”

That makes two of us.

”Me too..” I rubbed my eyes again, the smallest tear sneaking its way down my cheek.

”I’m glad you guys came over to hang out and stuff.. Even though it was Miko’s idea..”

”Yeah, it’s nice to just hangout for once”

I softly smiled, “It is. I honestly prefer this over an alien war”

I sat up, “How do you guys deal with that anyway..?”

Raf was sitting up as well. Something about the expression he was making, made me feel like something was wrong. Even in the dark where I could barely see his face.

“I don’t know... it’s honestly really scary sometimes”

My expression soften and he continued, “Especially when scraplets invaded the base.. I was so scared we wouldn’t be able to bring Optimus and Acree home.. Or what would happen to Bee and the others if we didn’t get all the scraplets..”

I got up, my legs feeling sore. Not a burning feeling, just soreness.

I sat myself next to him and put a hand on his shoulder, “I can’t imagine what it was like, but.. it- it sounds to me like you were very brave”

He looked up at me, “Really?”

”Mmhm, I would’ve panicked and been a coward,” I rubbed his shoulder, “So Yeah.. you’re pretty brave.. for a twelve year old”

”Twelve  _and a quarter_ ” 

I softly chuckled and felt a small smile grow on my face, “Alright, twelve and a quarter”

Raf smiles before letting out a yawn, “I guess we should be heading back to bed”

”Probably.. Sleep tight, Rafael” I ruffled his hair and a small giggle escaped his lips.

”You too, (Y/N)”

I moved back to my original spot on the floor. I could hear Raf move as he lied back down and I closed my eyes.

That was nice. 

I felt.. good, yeah.. Good.

I softly smiled. The feeling of dread and loneliness had suddenly disappeared, I don’t know why or how, but I liked it.

I took a deep breath and lied there. Waiting for sleep to take me..

 

 

* * *

 

 

“(Y/N)” 

I felt my body being slightly shaken and my feet felt cold.

”Ugh...” 

“Come on, (Y/N)! Wake up!” 

“5 more..,” I let out a yawn, “Minutes..”

“If you don’t wake up, Miko will eat all the pancakes!!”

I heard Raf scream at me and shake me roughly.

”O-Okay..! Okay.. I’m up! Just stop screaming!”

“Sorry”

I sat up and heard giggles surround me.

”What is it..?”

I rubbed my tired eyes, eye boogers in the corners, it felt good to get them out.

”Let’s just say you’re gonna need to check your hair for birds”

”Heh, yeah, it looks like a nest”

“Huh..?” 

I ran a lazy hand through my hair and felt a tug. “Ow..”

I heard Miko’s muffled laughter, a hand over her mouth. “Let me help you”

”N-No, I can do it” 

I protested her offer, even though I knew my hair was gonna be a bitch to deal with.

”Aw come on! Let me! You wouldn’t let me do your hair last night”

”I- ,” I sighed, why do I bother arguing? I’m honestly too tired and I just want to eat with my friends already. “Alright, alright. Fine”

“Yes!!” 

Before I knew it, Miko had grabbed my hand and dragged me upstairs into my room. I felt kinda dizzy honestly.

I sat infront of my dresser and looked into the mirror.

I frowned.

”Soo, What’s good with you?”

Miko said from behind me, slowly going through my hair with my comb.

”Um, fine I guess.. Better, yeah, better. My legs don’t hurt anymore- Ow”

”Sorry! That’s good, you think you’re gonna be able to come back tomorrow??”

”I sure hope not”

I heard her giggle behind me and I couldn’t help, but let out a small giggle as well.

“How are your legs feelin anyway? Still cooking?”

I put a hand over my mouth, a muffled laugh escaping my lips. “h-ha ha! They’re fine now, Miko. Thank you for asking, hehe”

I saw Miko beaming in the mirrors reflection. “No problemo, (Y/N)!”

I felt my hair being slightly tugged this way and that way, but I stayed silent. I remember how mom used to go through my hair and I honestly have to say that I prefer this.

”You really didn’t have to do this..”

”Well, I wanted to, duh! Oh! Next time, it should just be you and me, y’know? So we can have some girl time!”

“Heh, yeah, that’d be nice”

”Could you hand me a hair tie or two?”

”Mmhm” I opened my drawer full to the brim with scrunchies, hair ties, hair clips, and other accessories.

”Here ya go”

”Thanks”

She grabbed it from my hand and started finishing up on my hair.

The soft smile that had formed on my face felt nice, my cheeks kinda hurt though. My hands played with the strings on my pajama pants as I let my mind wonder as I felt Miko’s hands atop my head.

”Done!”

“Hm?”

I looked in the mirror and my eyes widen.

My hair pulled up into two tight pigtail buns, my face was visible. I could see the dark eye bags under my eyes. My nose and my lips.

Damn I look like crap.

”Tada! Much better, huh?”

”Y-Yeah.. It is”

”Now we’re twins!”

Miko wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. Beaming at me with a wide smile.

“... Thank you, Miko” 

I grabbed her hand and gently squeezed it, she returned the gesture, and I let out a sigh.

”Come on, let’s go chow down on some breakfast” 

Her fingers intertwined with mine and I was lifted from my spot of my seat. We headed downstairs and I felt a little nervous.

I had just finished growing my hair back in, mom had promised me that we’d do something with it, and dad said he would teach me all the hair tricks he learned from his sisters, mother, and grandma.

“Good morning you two, we wondering when you two were coming down. Jack told me what a mess your hair-.. was”

I felt a little tense all of a sudden, mom’s eyes were on me, and she suddenly stopped.

”You like it?? I did it!”

I felt Miko place her hands on my shoulders, “We match!”

”Heh.. You certainly do. Thank you, Miko, it’s look very nice. It really frames your face, (Y/N)”

I saw mothers face soften, she looked happy. Just the way she looked at me.. it made me feel.. good.

”You look very nice, sweetie”

Dad kissed the top of my head.

”T-Thanks, dad”

He softly smiled at me and looked at my mother, they gave eachother that look.

You know, that look that parents give eachother when their proud.

It made my heart swell in my chest.

”Come on you two, breakfasts waiting on the table”

”Aight! Thank you!”

 I nodded to the both of them, a smile on my face before I went to sit with Miko and the others.

 

Jack complimented me on my hair, Raf said I looked nice too, and Miko was talking my ear off. Telling me about all sorts of stuff the two of us could do together when it’s just us.

It was kinda hard to keep up with the forever moving conversation, but I managed. 

This felt nice, it felt really nice.

To actually have friends, of course I’ve always Jack, but still..

It was wonderful, my mind somehow suddenly forgotten about all the bad things, and just for that morning.

It was just us, being stupid and laughing.

 

And soon enough, it was over.

Everyone had to go home and we said our goodbyes, promising to see eachother the next day at school.

And I was actually looking forward to going to school, to see them all again.

 

I watched them leave and then it was just me.

Mom and dad were happy, I was happy.. I think.

We’d all decided to watch a movie together and relax, I was squished between the two of them as the movie started.

The popcorn bowl in my hands, it felt warm.

I felt tired, even thought it was still early afternoon. I let out a yawn and let my body relax, falling into my parents warm embraces.

Today.. was a good day.


End file.
